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"We must be the change we wish to see in this world." ? Mahatma Gandhi Homme Levi's x Air Jordan 4 Denim Pas Cher , Indian nationalist and spiritual leader who developed the practice of nonviolent disobedience that forced Great Britain to grant independence to India in 1947
I can think of all kinds of ways to change our kids, my associates, my wife Heather, and lots of other people in my life. But that's not the place to start. The place to start is with changing me. The Nobel Prize winning physicist Homme KAWS x Air Jordan 4 Retro Noir Pas Cher , Albert Einstein, observed that we can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it. The same principle applies to influencing and leading people around us. I can't influence others to change what they're doing with the same behavior that contributed to their current behavior.
The longer I've been with others who I'd like to improve or change, the more this applies to me. Something I've been doing, or failing to do Homme Air Jordan Zoom Tenacity 88 Noir Cement Pas Cher , has contributed to their current behavior patterns. If I am going to shift their behavior to a new level, I will need to change my behavior. To change them, I need to change me. As the 18th century French writer, Francois Fenelon Homme Nike Air Jordan Flyknit Elevation 23 Game Royal Pas Cher , put it, "we can often do more for others by correcting our own faults than by trying to correct theirs."
This key leadership principle is useless if we think that we can control others. It's especially easy to believe this if I am the boss, parent, owner Homme Nike Air Jordan Melo 1.5 SE Noir Pas Cher , teacher, coach, project leader, director Homme Nike Air Jordan 32 TRIPLE Noir Mid Pas Cher , or in some similar position of authority. I will always be stuck at the superficial level of "doing my leadership thing" as long as I try controlling others through position power. I am ready to move to the deeper levels of leadership being (and greater effectiveness) when I give up trying to control. I can then shift my focus to influencing and guiding others by what I do as well as by what I say.
To create something we must be something. For example, becoming a parent is easy; being one is tough. We can't teach our kids self-discipline unless we are self-disciplined. We can't help build strong organizational teams unless we're a strong team player. We can't help develop a close community if we're not a good neighbor. We can't enjoy a happy marriage if we're not a loving partner. We won't have a supportive network of friends or colleagues until we're a supportive friend or collaborative colleague.
In The Heart Aroused: Poetry and Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America, David Whyte writes, "all things change when we do." Writer Gautama Chopra elaborates Homme Nike Air Jordan 32 Low Noir Pas Cher , "by changing our beliefs, our perceptions, we cause our experience to change, and in this way we change the world around us. There is no true boundary or limit to the self; there is no separation from the world that encircles us. When we master the forces within Homme Nike Air Jordan 32 Pure Platinum Pas Cher , we influence the forces without."
In The CLEMMER Group's leadership development work we use a simple exercise to help participants connect the changes they'd like to see to the changes they need to make in their own behavior. Draw a line down the middle of a page. Title the left column "Changes I'd Like Them to Make." List the four or five biggest changes you'd like to see in others.
OK, that's the easy part. Now title the right column "Ways I Can Exemplify These Changes." Brainstorm ways you can influence "them" with your personal behavior. This is the hard part. It means I must face up to what I have or haven't been doing to influence their behavior.